Look, The Pokémon Company is a giant company that can do whatever it wants. Still, however, one must ask: Is releasing a life-sized posable plush of Gardevoir, the psychic/fairy-type Pokémon who you should never Google without SafeSearch on, perhaps a callous use of one’s power? Is it an example of being so preoccupied with whether or not you could that you didn’t stop to think if you should? Well, we’re past pontificating because they’re doing it, and the internet is preparing for the inevitable horrors that will be inflicted upon these inanimate objects.
If you’ve somehow never seen a Gardevoir before, the Pokémon is a humanoid, alien-like creature with notably feminine features from a green fuck ass bob to a dress that flows from its waist. Since its debut in Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire back in 2002, the internet has done what the internet does and created untoward fan art and memes about it. That history feels like it’s reaching its natural endpoint as The Pokémon Company has announced it’s creating a life-sized plush of the character, and the internet is living in fear of what might happen to these plushes when they’re out in the wild.
The Japanese Pokémon Center store sells the Gardevoir plushes for 49,500 yen, roughly equivalent to $319 USD. But no price is too much for the kind of person who wants this. There don’t appear to be plans to release the Gardevoir plush in other territories at the moment, so if you’re going to import it, please do not buy it secondhand. But if you just want to see what it looks like, feel free to click through the slides.
In other Pokémon news, Pokémon Day is coming up. The February 27 “holiday” commemorates the anniversary of the original Red and Green versions launching in Japan back in 1996, and is usually accompanied by a stream about the series’ upcoming projects. It’s likely we’ll see Pokémon Legends: Z-A there, as the game is set to launch on the Switch later this year.